Snug In Your Skin October 04 2015
Ladies, if you’ve been down on yourself, I have great news for you. Men, ages 18–50, 80 percent say they prefer a woman with curves. Thin is not in — strong and fit is.
Know what else men say? "There is nothing sexier than a woman comfortable in her skin. Nothing beats a happy girl who loves to laugh."
Feeling sorry about your body (and the anxiety that comes with it) is extremely contiguous. So is loving yourself exactly the way you are. Yes, men love when their girls eat healthy food and take care of themselves. It prompts them to do likewise. Men also love a woman who can relax and enjoy eating with them as well.
This might seem counterproductive for weight loss—thinking that enjoying yourself will lead to a poor diet and, inevitably, the scale sliding up. It's quite the contrary. Often, we use dieting as a way to punish ourselves from the overeating and indulging we have done (which always backfires). When we love ourselves the way we are, we naturally want to take better care of ourselves for the right reasons. And we're happy to do so.
As women, the media pushes in our faces, and glorifies, super stick-thin models. All the while making us feel unattractive and unhappy about our “average” or curvy bodies. Guess what? Men don't feel the same way. In fact, men prefer voluptuous women.
Fifteen percent of men prefer average size women while only five percent opt for super skinny. We obsess over every morsel we put in our mouths and over-exercise in the gym at the expense of our families and careers. The worst part — it’s a turn off to the opposite sex.
I can hear you now, "I do it for myself."
I work with women and men all day long. Deep inside, everyone wants to be noticed by their spouse, partner, or the opposite sex. We are human after all. Anyone who knows me knows that I have struggled with my weight and food since I was a toddler. When I finally lost the extra pounds and arrived at my goal weight, I didn’t expect what happened next. I was feeling pretty good about accomplishing my weight loss goal and for the first time in my life had wiggle room in my clothes. One day while training at the gym, the girl who worked the front desk said, “Girl, the guys said you used to have it going on, curves in the all the right places. Now you’re too skinny". I was stunned. To this day, I am grateful to her for being so honest. Truth be told, I think she saved me from a battle with little Miss Anorexia. That’s not all; when I went home to talk with my husband about it, he said, “I like you with a few more pounds on you."
I spent 20 years hating myself, always thinking that I was fat and ugly. I lived in my head with all of my negative thoughts. Little did I know that I was way off. I needed to stop that insanity and start feeling good about myself. That's the secret to being sexy at any age and any size.
Every morning we get a day older, and it does become more difficult to control our weight with age, so I’m not suggesting that you quit on yourself. Instead, I am suggesting that you learn to love yourself, no matter what size you are. Take the limits off of your life.You are more than your weight or the number on the scale. You are enough the way you are right now.
I beg you to talk to your healthy friends (be mindful of women who are clearly too skinny) or your spouse about what you’re feeling inside. It will help you get a clear and realistic perspective on your weight and weight loss goals. It will also help you to enjoy every day to the fullest.
Additionally, as a melanoma survivor, I can tell you that once someone tells you that you’ve got cancer, you realize how much time you’ve wasted worrying about perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist.
I have a question for you. If it was your last day on earth would that weight loss battle matter? Would you hate yourself so much? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to waste one day hating myself.
If your weight loss struggle is on your bucket list, do it today so you won’t keep wishing you had done it sooner. It is never too late. Your someday is today, and it’s easier than you think. Anyone can lose weight and feel good once they make the decision to do it. The choice is yours. No one can do it for you.
Fun facts that may help you like yourself better today:
- A size 14, which is now considered a "plus size," was approximately sex bomb Marilyn Monroe's dress size
- 20 years ago, most fashion models were a size 8. Today, that's been replaced by an unrealistic size 0
- 75 percent of men said the hobby they find most attractive in the opposite sex is cooking, not being a gym queen
- 78 percent of men said a woman's most attractive feature is her smile
- Men think being strong is sexy. Swap out those all day cardio and Pilates workouts for strength training. You’ll look and feel sexier
- Men say we are too obsessed with our weight. It’s not weight that matters but our fat to muscle ratio that counts most
This article isn’t meant to slam woman who are naturally thin — that is their body type and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that either. Another fun fact: most skinny women want to add weight in the form of muscle. These women struggle with body image issues in the same way that we all want to lose weight. We will never be happy until we choose to love ourselves just the way we are. The best part is You Get To Decide.
I dare you to start today. Please keep these in mind when the old negative voices in your head start talking to you:
- Men prefer woman 10–15 lbs. heavier than what we think our ideal body weight “should” be
- Toned is sexier than “skinny”
- Aim to be your healthiest, most fit body. Not anybody else’s
- Don't be afraid of your weight. Muscle weighs more, but it’s sexier
- Forget about what the scale says. Focus on leaner vs. lighter
- Your attitude and confidence are what matters most and what is the most memorable when you enter and exit a room
- You must love and accept the way you look before anyone can
Whitey Houston said it best: ”Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All."
If you need help reaching a healthy body weight or learning to love yourself, please reach out. That’s what I am are here for. The Metabolism Solution provides you with every tool you need to lose weight while enjoying what you eat. Most importantly, learn to love yourself by honoring God with your Bod.